Wet Paper, Star Wars, Beads, 3 cups of Tea, and Migraines

You give a boy some wet paper and a ceiling...take a guess where that paper is going to go? I remember one little girl trying that out in the girls bathroom once upon a time. The slap of wet paper on the ceiling makes such a satisfying sound. Although I wanted to laugh as I looked at the wet paper heart on the ceiling I knew I could not... or the about 27 wet paper hearts would be plastering the ceiling. Also one is never too old to feel a wee bit nervous being called to the Principal's Office... even when you know you're not in trouble!!

Star WarsStar Wars - Episode I, The Phantom Menace (Widescreen Edition). I never was a fan. Maybe I was too young to appreciate how it changed cinema. Maybe I'm just not a fan of Sci-fi unless it is theThe Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 25th Anniversary Edition: A Novel I often don't like movies that dictate my imagination. I'd rather read the book and create the world in my head based on words on a page.. or just create a world in my own imagination. Movies often dissapoint. Whatever it was or is... I am not a fan of Star Wars... and watching the first 30-45 minutes again and again. Well 6 times in one day did not improve my enjoyment or opinion of Star Wars. All the flickering imagines on the big screen did was give me a massive headache.

If you give them a bead loomDarice 1012-24 Bead Loom, thread, seed beads, and a needle, they will bead. and bead... and bead! They will also spill said beads all over but they will bead. They planned their bracelets on graph paper Tops Section Pads with 10 Squares, Quadrille Rule, Letter Size (8.5 x 11), White, 50 Sheets per Pad (35101) Sometimes they made their name, a favorite team, favorite school, etc etc. I was just surprised how excited that these students were about beading and how focused and determined they were to complete a project. I was surprised but pleasantly so that they would learn a bit of a craft and get such a great deal of enjoyment from it.

I really love country schools. The kids continuously surprise you with their understanding, love of nature, practicality, and good taste in music. Turning on the radio to a country music station had the entire class singing along. For a teacher who is a fan of country music herself it warmed my heart to hear them singing this song: International Harvester

Then to High School. I have to repeat to myself quite often something one very wise college professor said to me. Don't teach to students you wish you had... teach to the ones you do. I wish every single day that they had more respect, better behavior, better manners, less bad language spoken, more motivation, more appreciation etc etc etc. However they don't. These are the students I have, we have, as a teaching community in these Spoiled States of America. I can't blame parents, teachers, it is a Societal problem. We are all guilty of creating the monsters. I can't expect them to have respect.. when they have not been taught what it is, what it looks like, or how to give it. No matter how much I want them to appreciate what they have, they know nothing other than this and take it for granted. Sometimes It is very upsetting to me. Especially when I am reading between classes this book:
Three Cups of Tea: One Man's Journey to Change the World... One Child at a Time ( The Young Reader's Edition)

The students, families, communities, leaders, strangers, friends, foes, and foreigners all sacrifice something to build a school and receive an education. Sacrifice is something few American students today can comprehend. Their great or great-great grandparents may have sacrificed something for them to get an education but it is so long ago it isn't part of their thinking. They didn't carry the bricks that built the school, hammer the nails, raise the funds, raise the roof, give up their time, give up their food, give up their money, to learn. They just show up and it is given to them. They deface, vandalize, and destroy the materials given to them to learn. Rarely does it come into their realm of thinking that their parents pay, that all of society pays, for them to learn. I think taxation that takes money out of our paycheck makes the sacrifice less tangible. Then it is also less meaningful because you were not a part of your educations construction. I would read this story and look up wondering at their lack of appreciation. Wonder at what their counterparts in these poor parts of the world would say at their cavalier treatment of their learning. I am just as guilty as the students I looked at.. but I was taught what sacrifice means, what it looks like, why it is done, and why it is important. I imagine that some of these students will learn but I think the lesson will come at a much greater cost... because it is so inconceivable to them. My understanding may be elementary.. but theirs does not exist... and I do not yet know how to bridge that gap. The only students that I notice that have an understanding of sacrifice are the children of soldiers serving all over the world right now. They know sacrifice because they feel it, see it, and live it every day.

Spring is in the Air...

Or was that skunk smell...Pot in the RestRoom...

Probably the latter! It has been busy days lately. The students are fired up and ready for school to end. Some have quit even trying the past couple weeks, some are powering through till the end, and some are trying to catch up so they don't have to re-take classes next year. Then there are those senior's... they're burnt out but they are really excited about their senior projects. I had the privilege of listening to a few of their speeches. It was a privilege as a substitute to be able to learn more about the students ... their pasts, what they've been working on, and their goals for the future. Senior projects are a pain but the students can really use that as an opportunity to learn some skills they will use for the rest of their life. I'm not talking about the project itself although it could be a skill. I am talking about public speaking, seeing something through to its finish, working with the community, doing things in service to others, stringing thoughts together in a coherent manner. Those skills they will need forever.
I know we all think we don't like public speaking but we do it every day. On cell phones in the grocery store, in front of our co-workers, job interviews, to customers, answering phones in our workplace, the list goes on and on. We all speak publicly every day. For some students the senior project provides them with a great sense of pride. This isn't something that is done in a day or even a week. They really must put time and effort into it. It may be the first time they have seen something through to its finish. It may be the first time they realized that they could. It was also fun for me to see how proud the teachers were of their students. They helped get them to the end and know their struggles and the effort they put in better than anyone.

Not often as a substitute do we know the students backgrounds or their issues or how far they've come or how far they need to go. We are in and out and on our way. Sometimes I have to stop myself because I know I'm only seeing a page in the story.. it may be the worst page of the story on the worst day of the characters life. It may be the best day, the most traumatic, the stormiest, the calmest, etc etc. As a substitute we don't always know. It is great to be able to go back to the same place often no matter how rough it might be...because you get to know the kids. You get to understand their individual needs.. and maybe in one day ...maybe you can make a teeny tiny difference. It was a privilege today to help kids in a subject I always struggled with to make connections and have the bell of understanding ring inside them. It was fun. That is the very best part about teaching.

There are kids who just bounce... they just bounce and bounce and bounce. They seem incapable of sitting still, concentrating, paying attention, etc etc. There might be diagnoses and or drugs that could help them... but I have a better solution. Physical Exertion. They love bouncing let's get a trampoline with netting around it and let them go for it. It would be required before school, on break, before lunch, and after school (hey parents shouldn't have to suffer too!) Bouncing! That's my prescription for the bouncers... more bouncing.

♪♫I Had A Bad Day ♪♫

You know you want to sing so go for it...Daniel Powter Ahhh yep one of those days where you leave trying to remember if you remember ANYTHING you learned about behavior, child development, classroom management... sigh.....

On these days part of me wants to enroll them all into Military school, or make their parents miss work to come sit in the class and see just how naughty their kid is, I have all sorts of solutions but a lot of them I know just aren't constructive. I just wonder what the solution is.. these kids simple don't care. They are running their teachers down and out and into retirement. It isn't getting better. If they haven't been taught respect and discipline.. by High School.. forget it.I could've done better today... should've done better... tomorrow will be better RIGHT??? Moving on

So I had a bad day..♪♫ and what do you do to get yourself out of that funky mood. I called a friend and we talked about it being Thursday the 13th. We had a few laughs discussed how we needed to win the lottery but first needed to play to win. Sometimes some good music helps .. and sometimes not. I had to laugh and since I'd already read Betty Blonde today I didn't have a back up plan. So I got on Facebook hoping that was a viable distraction... but noooo when you've had a bad day you think everyone's posts are especially silly. A long hot shower helped... and now I need a really good book... really good... I'm thinking about reading this one: Big Nate: In a Class by Himself but it is about a naughty kids exploits at school.

Then I realized it's "CHILDREN'S BOOK WEEK" at least I can peruse great stories. Such as one of my FAVORITE Roald Dahl Books: The Vicar of Nibbleswicke The Vicar of Nibbleswicke who has a bad case of the backwards. I could also read Beverly Cleary's The Ralph Mouse Collection.
So I figured out what cheers me up... a good look at some great reads.

But people I need some giggles people.... what gets you through a bad day?

Red-Haired Girls

What I've learned subbing:

1. Do not let Red-haired girls touch any electronics HIDE THEM!!! LOCK THEM UP!!!(the electronics of course).
2. Students will do virtually anything to get out of classes they don't like. Impersonating other students is a favorite.
3. Many boys process verbally and must be given time to do so.
4. I have soooo much more patience than I ever realized.
5. I have WAYYYY less Patience than I estimated.
6. I am NOT YOUR MAID... Pick up your trash and throw it away, and put your materials where they belong.
7. Why do most kids these days want to know what they will get for doing there work? Why isn't a good grade enough??
8. Junior and Senior boys are not too old to play with little green Army men and simulate war on the Chemistry Lab table.
9. Sudoku after 19 puzzles is still not INCREDIBLY EXCITING.
10. It isn't possible for every student in every class to bring a pencil! It is a ridiculous thought to even Express. Must buy stock in Ticonderoga.
11. If yours is the only name the substitute remembers when she leaves school after 7 periods and countless students... YOU ARE A PROBLEM CHILD!!!
12. Worksheets are BORING!!! Don't leave worksheets for the sub PLEASE!!!!
13. I really believe all your tales about your teacher letting you cheat!!
14. Do you think that I can't see your opposable thumbs moving while you are texting?
15. I'm really glad I never dropped out of school.
16. Parents please discipline your kids so we can teach them and not discipline them all day. PLEASE
17. Nothing makes the day go by faster than a view out the window when you are a bored student.
18. YOU DO NOT DESERVE ANYTHING and EVERYTHING JUST BECAUSE YOU EXIST... You HAVE To be Willing to work for it... because even if you get it the easy way... you'll lose it and not know how to get it back!

I know I've learned more... but my brain is to tired to remember what that is right now :)

I ♥ Books

Eventually I had to do it... Talk about books... I love books. To say I'm an AVID reader is not even close to being strong enough terminology. To say I am a BIBLIOPHILE is completely accurate. A friend recently helped me organize my book collection and somehow we remained friends. The best books are the ones so well written you can re-read them half a dozen times and learn something new with each read. Perhaps my favorite author (that's like picking your favorite pastry in the bakery, or your favorite wine in the world)soo lets say..... One of my favorite authors of all time is Charles Dickens and I think my favorite story is Oliver Twist (Penguin Red Classics). Dickens can paint pictures, invoke emotions,scents,tastes... with words alone.

As much as I love the written word a close second is childrens picture books. I always have loved reading to children and getting them involved in the adventure of a story.Audrey and Don Wood, authors and illustrators have a fantastic array beautifully written and illustrated children books. For Example Piggies, The Napping House, King Bidgood's in the Bathtub,and The Tickleoctopus. Another of my favorite author and illustrator is Steven Kellogg who created fun and hilarious picture books such as The Mysterious Tadpole, Can I Keep Him?, and The Day Jimmy's Boa Ate the Wash. The pictures are rich, humorous, and fun.
I really love shopping for books as well. I love for finding pretty much any book new or used. Bas Bleu reviews books with such accuracy and since they only choose books they love you are guaranteed to find a good one. However, as grand as new books are nothing is quite as fun as a used book store. Where you can find something that you won't find on the shelves at a "new" book store. The infinite possibilities of a used book store makes the book lover in me giggle with glee. It can be overwhelming but oh so joyful to find that hidden treasure in the stacks. Then something new this way came... e-readers.
I have been drooling in earnest over e-readers since they came out. Looking with covetousness at those owned by friends as greedily as a deer eyes tulips just beyond its reach. Part of me still finds so much joy in the turning of a page... but the world of books becoming available on e-readers offers so much reading temptation. A paper book can be read on the beach without sand damaging its parts but... I can never seem to pack enough books in my suitcase. A paper book can be read by the campfire and not require a battery...but I can only fit so many books into my pack before someone complains that I packed rocks. The virtual library out there has me salivating. They do keep making improvements to them, adding important features, tweaking the software, adjusting for multiple uses, so I will wait a little while longer.... before I can't stand it anymore! Here you can visit Amazon's Kindle and drool over it yourself.

When I substitute in Elementary School often there is small chunks of time in which students are done with work and waiting for their classmates. One of the ways I fill the time is with squiggles you can by a book Squiggles: A Really Giant Drawing and Painting Book Which is on my wish list. Or you can just make random squiggles on white paper as I did. Soon I will have some of my favorites posted on the right. Watch for that.

Probation Officer

I spent some time in my former Home-EC room this past week. I really loved that room I learned how to make Orange Julius's, baking powder biscuits, no bake cookies, and other delicious recipes. It is also where I really started to learn to sew. We make a reversible apron and a four-square pillow. Boy and girl alike had to perform these tasks. I can see the Home-EC teacher in my mind with her short black/gray poodle curly hair her blue eyes, braces, and even her voice. Jr. High Home-EC. was kind of a sanctuary of sorts a room of sunshine in an otherwise dark and gloomy world. This is where my former classmate spit 24 loogies into his mixed bean salad which was served up in the teachers room. I've never eaten Home-EC prepared foods since... or mixed bean salad for that matter.

Unfortunately my old favorite place had been changed and transformed (mostly) into a temporary Science room. It was sad no clickity-clacking of old sewing machines, no hollers from boys who accidentally poked themselves with a needle, no sewing on buttons, no sweet scents of burning rolls, no dinging of kitchen timers, no mixing and kneading, etc etc. I then asked the kids where was the Home-Ec. Room? There wasn't one... no Shop, no Home-ec., and no Art. I tried to pin-point exactly what I got from these classes that made them so great. I was able to create and imagine my own world.. not a world of facts and figures and there wasn't a right or a wrong necessarily. These rooms nurtured my creative spirit. Kids who didn't excel in Math, or English, or Science.... could excel in Shop for example where they could apply and learn Math skills in a real hands-on manner. It is sooo wrong that we've removed these classes... we're sucking the joy right out of school.

If your 12-17 Year old already has a probation officer and is spending more time at Juvenile Hall than in school, spending any free time getting drunk and high, ignoring all requests or orders of anyone in authority from Principals, Teachers, P.O.'s, or Judges... It should be required they go to military school. I think that night school should be available to your child with a 1 strike you're out policy. Get caught doing any illegal behavior after being assigned to night school that would be it ... Off to Military School. It might not save the tax payers money in the short term but in the long term it would.
Maybe just maybe their criminal behavior and attitudes could be turned around, maybe their respect for authority would change, maybe they would think school wasn't so bad, and maybe they wouldn't end up in jail or prison or worse. Maybe they would learn that their own choices and behaviors led to the consequences! Parents should have their wages garnished to help pay for the brat they created. If the student is in night school and doing well I think they should have a job during the day and the wages should be garnished to help pay for their teacher and the rest should be put into a savings account they cannot access until they turn 18.

I wish you could show a student what you see in their future.. you know it seems like fun now... but reckless behaviors can lead to so much pain and heartache... but they can't see what is in store tomorrow or ten minutes from now let alone a year or two down the road.

Rocky Mountain Oysters

I am AMAZED... THOROUGHLY AMAZED.... That any child lives past 7th Grade! The patience adults possess to survive their obnoxious offspring is astounding. Then to send their little punks to public school and be horrified to hear that the Teacher gave their sweet little darling a referral...!! I have a theory that students in 6th-9th grade should be segregated by sex (removing that Hovering Hormonal Distraction) and shipped away until they can have a conversation with another person without invoking sarcasm, interrupting, sneering at them, or using profanity (audible or under ones breath). There should be a series of tests for advancing from seventh to eighth grade Starting with:

1. The Fart Test: Here is the scenario. Someone has tooted a loud audible toot.. with significant smell involved. If your child can refrain from any of these four things he/she can advance to eight grade. a) commenting on the fart b) pinching/waving their hand in front of their nose. c) Describing the fart to ones classmates. d) asking to be removed from the general vicinity of the fart.
2. The Grouchy Teacher Test: Here is the scenario the most despised, grouchy, irascible teacher Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss SO and SO comes into the room frown firmly in place. If your child can a) not make comments under their breath b) Not obtain a referral, c) sit quietly for 30 minutes... they will advance to 8th grade.
3. The Profanity Test: Here is the scenario... The class is reading a book in the story is a word that while used most innocently in the text invokes slang meanings for said word. If your child can a)at least pretend ignore the word and keep reading, b) refrain from laughing and elbowing their buddies c) Not comment out loud about the slang meaning of the word... they may advance to 8th grade.
4. The Anatomy Textbook Test: Here is the scenario... It involves drawings of the human anatomy..such as these: http://www.dieselcrew.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/human-anatomy.jpg If your child can look at the picture without a) pointing to the boy and girl parts b) giggle c) giggle and point d) giggle point and elbow their buddies... they may advance to the eighth grade.


Now this is only in the beginning stages of development... but I feel if your child can pass these four tests advancement to eighth grade is highly likely.


Moving on ... There are a few things you would only hear coming out of country children attending country schools. Their grasp of life and death is pragmatic. They simply see life and death in all of its forms respect it and at the same time do not give it too much weight. Branding season is just being finished up in our area. The ears get tagged, the hides get brands, and the bulls get castrated. This is life on the ranch. However, I never heard of ranch kids saving said bull parts for a "bull-ball fight". They had many a bucketful due to their abundance of cattle and so their arsenal was full. I don't even know what else to say.... I've heard of serving up Rocky Mountain Oysters for dinner or Pizza Toppings..... but this one was new to me.