Insecurities....

I've been thinking about insecurity today. It is a trap in so many ways. I know we all have it in some way shape or form. It is how we deal with those insecurities that allows us to learn, grow, and move forward. Insecurity kills hope and prevents growth. Working with a person who feels insecure is stressful. You cannot give another person self-esteem. They have to find it within themselves. I have been thinking about what I can do to make a comfortable working environment for this person. The problem is that ... quite unintentionally we can trigger their insecurities. Then it feels like you are walking on a mine field around that person and that doesn't work either. I finally decided... If I do something wrong and I know it... I'll apologize. I'll be kind and stay positive. That is about all I can do. I hope that this person realizes anything I inadvertently do or not do isn't an attack on them. It was a busy week. Progress reports were due today and I about did myself in figuring out the stinking software program that we enter grades into. I need to do more training on this program. I had a heart dropping moment when I got home and realized.... I didn't hit SAVE!!!!!! ACCCK. Sooo I ended up back at school entering in some of the grades again. Luckily I hit save often enough it wasn't all of them missing... just some. I figured out some things that I can do better with teaching this week. That is a good feeling. The worst feeling is knowing you could do better but are not sure how to go about it. I have asked for help and best of all I have been given help! I really love my new principal. She is HIGH energy, a decision maker, and gets business taken care of!! It is such a treat after having someone wishy washy in the past. She isn't a micro-manager either. She helps you to be better at what you do!! I really don't know what more you could ask for. Some of my co-workers are a bit intimidated by her. I know her motivation is to make the school better.. and help me to be a better teacher. Any criticism is truly constructive criticism. I really appreciate that.

HELP!

These last couple of weeks have been overwhelming. I look at where my students are at and how behind they are and ...... I get completely overwhelmed. I hope I can get them totally caught up so they are not losing more ground every year. Our states have switched the the CC Standards. The expectations for grade levels are much higher than in the past. This is a good thing for our kids. The bar was set pretty low in the past. What is so overwhelming is that...my kids are not even close to doing grade level work at these new standards. I think the lowest grades are going to be okay because they haven't been exposed to the lower standards for an extended period of time. I think they will be okay. When I have 2nd graders who are supposed to be doing multiplication by the end of the year but can't count by 2's, 5's, or tens, and find subtraction virtually impossible.... ACCCKKK! The bar has been raised.. and I have to help them get there. Here is the thing... I am more than willing to ask/beg for help. However, there is one person I don't really want help/advice from. The person who had the job before me. I stop myself once in awhile and ask... "is this my ego talking". Too be honest it might be a little bit of that, but not completely. My predecessor... didn't get them there. She taught the same things the same ways for many many years. Someone approached my Classroom aide today and broached the subject with her. She stood up for me which I really appreciated. You never know if someone sees how hard you are trying and what you are up against. She does/did and let that person pretty much have it. I can't completely get caught in the trap of " the person before me didn't do their job". As one of my college professors once told me " You can't teach to the students you wish you had, you teach to the ones you have." If there parents don't read to them or help them do homework... you can't fight that. You just do what you can with the time you have them. It is such an uphill battle. Parents need to take some responsibility and I need to push forward. I need to make sure I keep asking the right people for help. People who are up to date on researched based teaching methods. People who continue to learn and love learning. I have to push past the scrutiny I am under and continue forward. My Birthday. I had a lovely day. I drove South East to a town about thirty minutes away. I really loved it. It is very quiet and totally different than any place I have been before. The entrance to the town had a cattle guard (to keep them out or in I am not sure). It had a pond, the 1st church of the area (looked like a child's playhouse), a lake (fishing, kayaking, swimming), and all the neighbors were pretty spread out. If I am here next year I am seriously considering moving out there. I loved it! The downside is it is on the other side of our brutally curvy steep summit. It could make winter commutes extremely ummm interesting. However.... I would be able to sit on my porch and not hear/see what my neighbors are up to. The whole town wouldn't know when I was home/away..... etc etc. The quiet part is a big draw for me. It hasn't been too loud in my apartment but... it isn't so much fun being the center of attention on Main Street. So I don't know we shall see what happens. I really like it out there. It is very pretty. Some of you probably don't believe me but Sagebrush grows on you more and more every day. I love the wide open spaces... watching the storms come in.... the amazing sunsets against the mountains... and dry snow. I managed to avoid going to town last weekend but I am going to have to make the DMV Trip. For my friends up north the next time you are at the DMV be grateful. You really have NO IDEA. It is the DMV of the old days down here. There draw a number system is older than the one at the butcher shop. There is seating for at least 50 people and most of it is in use. I have to go to get my new-er car registered and work on getting my Nevada License (hopefully little testing involved)! The week after my classroom aide and I are heading to the Little/Big City for some power shopping. After we come home from the Power Shopping we are coming home to do some Power Cooking to fill our freezers for winter. There is nothing worse than coming home after a long, cold, hard, day than having to cook dinner. You really want a hot meal but cooking it is less than desirable. So I have found the past few years having a weekend of cooking for the freezer saves my mind. Especially when I get that winter cold. When that cold hits in the winter I can look forward to coming home to a nutritional home-made chicken noodle soup. It is a good feeling. The past month has been busy... and the next month looks to be busy and maybe busier. We shall see.... Have a Good Night

My Friday!... the unfinished Post from last week :)

Made it through another week! Whew! The kids were all pretty done in by the end of this week including myself. One of my students this morning forgot her allergy pill. She sneezed about every 15 seconds and was blowing and blowing her nose. Her eyes were watering and bloodshot. I finally ran to the secretary and took her with me. There was no way she could continue like that. The secretary called home and they gave her permission to give her an allergy pill. She felt much better less than an hour later. She was miserable. Poor kiddo. Anyhow I am trying to do some house chores but I am tired too. I had P.E. with my kids today and one girl decided to run around our track. She is a very fast runner. When the boys saw her doing it they wanted to "beat" her. they didn't. So my 2nd grade student ran over 2 miles! Amazing! I think she will probably collapse tonight! She is a natural runner. We've had a few drops of rain here or there mostly there. There has been a little wind but still warm enough to be outside. Hopefully we can continue with outdoor P.E. for quite awhile. I head into town tomorrow for errands. Hopefully it all moves fairly quickly. The only good thing about going to town is getting a milkshake :)

Night of the Back to School!

Today was a busy day! A regular school day plus PLC (Professional Learning Community)( pretty much a nice way to say boring meeting) then back to school night. It was nice to spend more time getting to know the parents better. The majority of the parents that came were elementary parents. It was entertaining to see the kids with their parents. One student locked themselves in a bathroom stall, one split the inside of her lip, and they introduced all of their families to BOB. I met BOB for the first time today. Apparently BOB has been living on the playground for about 4 years. BOB is a little ceramic frog that once upon a time was painted and colorful. Bob has lost his color and is pitted from the elements and rubbing against rocks. (Our playground is gravel) Bob has a very nice living situation and if his house weren't imaginary I'd be his roommate! The parent's and I got quite a kick out of BOB. I think we will be doing some writing about BOB! I just feel really lucky with the co-workers I have this year. Sometimes we feel like we are swimming upstream against a terrible current. However, I think we are helping each other get there. There is a good vibe for the most part. The secretary was the "Lunch Lady" today. I had to answer the phone for her a couple of times. Our phone system is straight out of the seventies. I hadn't paid much attention to it before I had to answer it. I really should take a picture of it. Hysterical. Anyhow the people on the other line would say our secretaries name and I'd say "No she is the lunch lady right now". Everyone is fairly used to our secretary wearing many many hats so it wasn't unusual. The principal told the secretary she could order me a new printer! WHOOO HOOOO! So now maybe I can print stuff off from the classroom without it being a pain in the patootie! I have been to town almost every weekend so far for one reason or another. This weekend is no exception. I have to go in to the DMV (BLECH) and other errands. It isn't too bad of a drive just a little boring. I have an invitation for dinner on Friday with my classroom aide. She has been a life saver so far. I really appreciate all of her help. She really helps me to stay organized... and gives me time to go the bathroom. That is very important. Bathroom breaks without a helper are pretty much non-existent. Well my brain is fried... have a good nite

Resources!

Resources matter. You need the right resources, complete resources, quality resources, and researched based resources. I feel like I am lacking all of the above in much of my curriculum. I think I have a plan then realize ooh ummm I don't have enough for all the students, or all the students in that grade level, or I don't have the teachers manual. Then I think ooh this will work and realize oops is missing a chunk of important information. UGGH. I am beginning to see why my predecessor reached for workbooks. Somehow gaps have to be filled in. I am trying to do this in creative ways. I can't worksheet my students to death. Started teaching 2nd grade and up Typing today. Through Dance Mat Type this free typing program can be found on BBC Schools. You find resources in the strangest places. I have found that 1st grade hands just are too tiny for keyboards. Second grade and up their hands can usually fit without a lot of stretching to reach the keys. They have other programs for reading, science etc, but I have not tested them yet so I can't say whether or not they are quality. Learning to type helps the kids with online testing, research, running software and more. What Is cool with this typing software is the kids really get into it. It is fun so it works for kids. I really hope that I can fill in some of the gaps in my resources with free resources. Then I can figure out how to build upon the resources that I do have. I just want my students to be successful. After many of the assessments I did this week I realized that my students lost a lot of ground over the summer. This has a lot to do with parents not doing simple things with their kids like reading with/to them every day. Doing a little bit of math simple addition and subtraction. Also, letter recognition, shapes, and numbers. On the most basic level. I wish more parents worked with their kids even for a short time every day. Read to them... is that really hard?? I can almost immediately tell the first week of school what parents read to their kids. If they are read to they can write complete sentences, write multiple sentences, and read easily. Anyhow... I am soo pooped tonight. We did get a lot done today. I owe my friend a thanks for teaching me about P.E. Central I found some really fun P.E. games to do with multi-grades. We had P.E. today up on the grassy field. The kids love to take their shoes off on the grass... so I let them. Today we played Spiders and Flies. They got a big kick out of it. I discovered I am missing a WHISTLE! I need a whistle. Oooh progress today on the technology front. I have an e-mail login for school, and I can login to my own desktop now. WHOOOO HOOOO! We have more to do in the technology area but I accept any amount of progress! Another Sonic Boom today... after school. It scared one of our Kinder's and she fell over. Mean ole Navy Pilots!! Sheesh :) Gooodniiigghhht!

" You can't always get what you want"

Welll like the song says " You can't always get what you want..." and I can't get them to quit singing live music across the street from my apartment. Nope nope. I don't have the power. Siggh... and like most live music the longer it plays....the less wonderful it becomes. Hmmmm I miss that short break they took... I wonder if they could take another one... tilll a weekend I am out of town. It has been a busy weekend. Made it out of town to the next town.... where the car died. Not sure yet but I think it was a permanent death. Soooo got a new-er car and am getting used to driving something bigger. It feels good to have something newer with fewer miles on it. Ma & Pa were there to help me with all of that so that was good. They headed back today and I went to school and worked on lesson plans and organization for the week. I managed to plan Tuesday... :) So Obviously I need to plan the rest of the week! We are finishing up assessments so hopefully we can get those all done this week. They are time consuming but they also wear the kids out.... Soooo thank goodness I have one more day in the week to figure it out. I hope my student that lives behind the Saloon gets to go to bed before to long... and I hope he/she is safe tonight. Goodnight

Obfuscate

Ahhh... week 1! The week that I knew would go by quickly, but at moments thought would never end. We ended today with recess up in the grassy area surrounded by the track. The grass is well watered and pretty enjoyable for the kids to run around on. We will be heading up there again. I have some work to do this weekend to re-re-re-re-re-plan the plan :)! Everyday I learn a little more. I didn't think it would be easy but it got a bit overwhelming realizing the amount I am teaching. This week we had a couple absentee children. I am told they are in and out of school. However, they are supposed to be back next week. It will be interesting to see how this impacts the dynamics of the classroom. I have to spend some time this weekend working at school and planning. I need to get more familiar with some of the curriculum. We managed to get some of our sign ins for assessments so we were able to assess some students this week. We still can't log in to our computers, and our brand new ones are still in boxes, but hey progress counts. My name is even up in the lobby now. I feel official! This summer I discovered a British Mystery Television Show. I like the British Mysteries... for some reason... maybe it is a little less gory. They use words like "Obfuscate" which challenges my brain a bit and I have to go look it up. Obfuscate means to muddle or cloud. The opposite would be to clarify. Anyhow, so tonight I am rewarding myself with the show "Midsomer Murders".