Crazy year

It has been the craziest school year. I keep saying I feel like I am living in a sitcom. Although heavy on drama and comedy is a matter of opinion. When I described a recent school day to my mom she  laughed and laughed. Not from a lack of empathy it just sounded to nutty to be real. I lived it and I am telling you it was a little to real.  I had a bit of a rant the other day. It has been hard lately to do what I have strong convictions about. I had a conversation with a veteran teacher after school today. We are really working in a toxic environment this year. It is just poison rolling down from above and some of the crazy hires.  I get so emotionally invested because I care so much about my students. Then I have to stand back and think "Is it worth it?"  I keep hoping changes will occur. So far there is a lot of "talk" about changes but no real "changes". I am so learning to hate this statement "it will be taken care of",  "It will be done by Monday",  "It will be ready by (date)". It just somehow is delayed again and never really taken care of.    I have had to make a concerted effort to keep really good people around me.
Today was one of those days in which I just had to take the hits. They were being volleyed off me left and right. I did defend myself a few times. I had planned not to do that. So I had a internal discussion. "You said you weren't going to do this". So I just agreed to do whatever I personally needed to do and took the heat for it all. Deserving or not I let it all fall on my shoulders. It was not fun. It shouldn't have happened that way I should've been protected. I wasn't. At the end of the meeting I said "I am genuinely sorry we got to this point." then left. Afterwards I was thanked for "being the bigger person."  I don't know if I was or if I was just the pounding block.  So I have very mixed feelings about today. Can you imagine taking verbal punches and 10 minutes later have to walk in and teach a class full of children. I was visibly upset. I had a few parents dropping off their students who gave me the time to walk out and gather myself together.  I am thankful for that.  I have to just try to keep moving forward.

I am know our school board is well aware the working environment in our building is not good this year.  They laid down the law about several issues. I have seen work on those issues but I am not sure it is soon enough to counter the level of nuttiness. This weekend after I clean house and grade papers I plan to hang out with a couple of pals and talk about anything other than school.