End of Year

An interesting end to my school year.  I stepped on the delicate toes of my administrator and was called into the office. I was at first very offended and felt defeated. I took a few steps back eventually and looked at the bigger picture. I wasn't called in on anything I could be disciplined on. It was all about ego. I had asked a parent if their student was receiving promised services. I wasn't sure it was occurring. The student was not receiving services so they went in to admin and complained.  This was "painted" as pot-stirring. I couldn't be sure if the student was receiving services without talking to the parent, but I was to go to admin before I asked the parent. Okay fine. Noted.

I don't think I have every been this relieved to complete a school year. This year was a roller coaster of absolute crazy. I spoke with a colleague the other night from another school that shared this administrator with us. She had the very same complaints. Poor communication, talking in circles, lack of understanding what students need, creating a very divisive  working environment, not listening to the group as a whole but the individuals (who said what she wanted to hear).  I hadn't spoken to this teacher much last year there wasn't time and we weren't at the same school. We always kept saying lets get together and it never happened. It was such a relief to me to hear the same issues were going on. This administrator has a way of making you feel like you're the crazy one.

When I left school this year it being my 5th  year I completely understand why teachers leave after 5 years of teaching. We know the system is broken and sometimes corrupt. We know how our hands are tied. We are fighting every day against poor administration, under-prepared colleagues, over regulation, and parents who undervalue their students education.  We are also battling absolute heartache. The situations children are living in are staggering.  Our society thinks more and more is okay. The consequences of that are confused, lost, and abandoned children.

We are also fighting teachers that are of poor quality. In my state they removed tenure and a teacher can go back on probation at any time. However, to get rid of a teacher administration MUST do their part. It just happens that it can take a lot of effort from them to get rid of a poor quality teacher. So they don't always do it. What I have observed in our small district is them just making the lives of this teacher so miserable they quit or leave. That isn't okay either.  I read online horror stories of what teachers have done. I hesitate to use the word story because it is a factual account. I just want you to know that there is a very high chance a colleague said something to admin, parents probably said something, other aides or workers in the school. They probably yelled it a few times. Then it was probably pushed under the rug until the public became aware.  It makes me pretty angry.

I will be very honest about my education. I thought it prepared me to become a teacher. I knew the theories behind education very well.  Piaget, Pascal, Jensen, Bloom, Vygotsky and more. What it didn't prepare me for was what I would be teaching. I have read sooo much more valuable material since becoming a teacher. I have learned soooo much more about the practice of teaching. I have gained knowledge about the content in teaching. More than I ever experienced in my Education program. Maybe that laid somewhat of a solid foundation for me. I also think I have some natural ability to teach.  I wonder how the Education of Teachers will change. I see 1st year teachers coming very prepared and I wonder what was different about their program. I see teachers coming who have few skills. I think I hit about the middle of the road with my program. If I hadn't been invested in my own learning. I would've failed as a teacher.

I left this school year behind feeling kind of toxic. It was like something iccky had invaded my spirit and I didn't like it. What it was, was working with and in a climate of dishonesty.  I needed some refreshing.  What I realized from this is next year I am not going to be as involved in the workings of the school. I did it to have some say in decisions made. What I realized is there just isn't enough of us speaking out to counteract the crazy. So I am going to focus way more energy on my classroom. Lastly, I am going to focus way more effort on myself. I put all my hobbies to the side, all the things that relax me and renew me. There will be more time made for that.