I ♥ Books

Eventually I had to do it... Talk about books... I love books. To say I'm an AVID reader is not even close to being strong enough terminology. To say I am a BIBLIOPHILE is completely accurate. A friend recently helped me organize my book collection and somehow we remained friends. The best books are the ones so well written you can re-read them half a dozen times and learn something new with each read. Perhaps my favorite author (that's like picking your favorite pastry in the bakery, or your favorite wine in the world)soo lets say..... One of my favorite authors of all time is Charles Dickens and I think my favorite story is Oliver Twist (Penguin Red Classics). Dickens can paint pictures, invoke emotions,scents,tastes... with words alone.

As much as I love the written word a close second is childrens picture books. I always have loved reading to children and getting them involved in the adventure of a story.Audrey and Don Wood, authors and illustrators have a fantastic array beautifully written and illustrated children books. For Example Piggies, The Napping House, King Bidgood's in the Bathtub,and The Tickleoctopus. Another of my favorite author and illustrator is Steven Kellogg who created fun and hilarious picture books such as The Mysterious Tadpole, Can I Keep Him?, and The Day Jimmy's Boa Ate the Wash. The pictures are rich, humorous, and fun.
I really love shopping for books as well. I love for finding pretty much any book new or used. Bas Bleu reviews books with such accuracy and since they only choose books they love you are guaranteed to find a good one. However, as grand as new books are nothing is quite as fun as a used book store. Where you can find something that you won't find on the shelves at a "new" book store. The infinite possibilities of a used book store makes the book lover in me giggle with glee. It can be overwhelming but oh so joyful to find that hidden treasure in the stacks. Then something new this way came... e-readers.
I have been drooling in earnest over e-readers since they came out. Looking with covetousness at those owned by friends as greedily as a deer eyes tulips just beyond its reach. Part of me still finds so much joy in the turning of a page... but the world of books becoming available on e-readers offers so much reading temptation. A paper book can be read on the beach without sand damaging its parts but... I can never seem to pack enough books in my suitcase. A paper book can be read by the campfire and not require a battery...but I can only fit so many books into my pack before someone complains that I packed rocks. The virtual library out there has me salivating. They do keep making improvements to them, adding important features, tweaking the software, adjusting for multiple uses, so I will wait a little while longer.... before I can't stand it anymore! Here you can visit Amazon's Kindle and drool over it yourself.

When I substitute in Elementary School often there is small chunks of time in which students are done with work and waiting for their classmates. One of the ways I fill the time is with squiggles you can by a book Squiggles: A Really Giant Drawing and Painting Book Which is on my wish list. Or you can just make random squiggles on white paper as I did. Soon I will have some of my favorites posted on the right. Watch for that.

Probation Officer

I spent some time in my former Home-EC room this past week. I really loved that room I learned how to make Orange Julius's, baking powder biscuits, no bake cookies, and other delicious recipes. It is also where I really started to learn to sew. We make a reversible apron and a four-square pillow. Boy and girl alike had to perform these tasks. I can see the Home-EC teacher in my mind with her short black/gray poodle curly hair her blue eyes, braces, and even her voice. Jr. High Home-EC. was kind of a sanctuary of sorts a room of sunshine in an otherwise dark and gloomy world. This is where my former classmate spit 24 loogies into his mixed bean salad which was served up in the teachers room. I've never eaten Home-EC prepared foods since... or mixed bean salad for that matter.

Unfortunately my old favorite place had been changed and transformed (mostly) into a temporary Science room. It was sad no clickity-clacking of old sewing machines, no hollers from boys who accidentally poked themselves with a needle, no sewing on buttons, no sweet scents of burning rolls, no dinging of kitchen timers, no mixing and kneading, etc etc. I then asked the kids where was the Home-Ec. Room? There wasn't one... no Shop, no Home-ec., and no Art. I tried to pin-point exactly what I got from these classes that made them so great. I was able to create and imagine my own world.. not a world of facts and figures and there wasn't a right or a wrong necessarily. These rooms nurtured my creative spirit. Kids who didn't excel in Math, or English, or Science.... could excel in Shop for example where they could apply and learn Math skills in a real hands-on manner. It is sooo wrong that we've removed these classes... we're sucking the joy right out of school.

If your 12-17 Year old already has a probation officer and is spending more time at Juvenile Hall than in school, spending any free time getting drunk and high, ignoring all requests or orders of anyone in authority from Principals, Teachers, P.O.'s, or Judges... It should be required they go to military school. I think that night school should be available to your child with a 1 strike you're out policy. Get caught doing any illegal behavior after being assigned to night school that would be it ... Off to Military School. It might not save the tax payers money in the short term but in the long term it would.
Maybe just maybe their criminal behavior and attitudes could be turned around, maybe their respect for authority would change, maybe they would think school wasn't so bad, and maybe they wouldn't end up in jail or prison or worse. Maybe they would learn that their own choices and behaviors led to the consequences! Parents should have their wages garnished to help pay for the brat they created. If the student is in night school and doing well I think they should have a job during the day and the wages should be garnished to help pay for their teacher and the rest should be put into a savings account they cannot access until they turn 18.

I wish you could show a student what you see in their future.. you know it seems like fun now... but reckless behaviors can lead to so much pain and heartache... but they can't see what is in store tomorrow or ten minutes from now let alone a year or two down the road.

Rocky Mountain Oysters

I am AMAZED... THOROUGHLY AMAZED.... That any child lives past 7th Grade! The patience adults possess to survive their obnoxious offspring is astounding. Then to send their little punks to public school and be horrified to hear that the Teacher gave their sweet little darling a referral...!! I have a theory that students in 6th-9th grade should be segregated by sex (removing that Hovering Hormonal Distraction) and shipped away until they can have a conversation with another person without invoking sarcasm, interrupting, sneering at them, or using profanity (audible or under ones breath). There should be a series of tests for advancing from seventh to eighth grade Starting with:

1. The Fart Test: Here is the scenario. Someone has tooted a loud audible toot.. with significant smell involved. If your child can refrain from any of these four things he/she can advance to eight grade. a) commenting on the fart b) pinching/waving their hand in front of their nose. c) Describing the fart to ones classmates. d) asking to be removed from the general vicinity of the fart.
2. The Grouchy Teacher Test: Here is the scenario the most despised, grouchy, irascible teacher Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss SO and SO comes into the room frown firmly in place. If your child can a) not make comments under their breath b) Not obtain a referral, c) sit quietly for 30 minutes... they will advance to 8th grade.
3. The Profanity Test: Here is the scenario... The class is reading a book in the story is a word that while used most innocently in the text invokes slang meanings for said word. If your child can a)at least pretend ignore the word and keep reading, b) refrain from laughing and elbowing their buddies c) Not comment out loud about the slang meaning of the word... they may advance to 8th grade.
4. The Anatomy Textbook Test: Here is the scenario... It involves drawings of the human anatomy..such as these: http://www.dieselcrew.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/human-anatomy.jpg If your child can look at the picture without a) pointing to the boy and girl parts b) giggle c) giggle and point d) giggle point and elbow their buddies... they may advance to the eighth grade.


Now this is only in the beginning stages of development... but I feel if your child can pass these four tests advancement to eighth grade is highly likely.


Moving on ... There are a few things you would only hear coming out of country children attending country schools. Their grasp of life and death is pragmatic. They simply see life and death in all of its forms respect it and at the same time do not give it too much weight. Branding season is just being finished up in our area. The ears get tagged, the hides get brands, and the bulls get castrated. This is life on the ranch. However, I never heard of ranch kids saving said bull parts for a "bull-ball fight". They had many a bucketful due to their abundance of cattle and so their arsenal was full. I don't even know what else to say.... I've heard of serving up Rocky Mountain Oysters for dinner or Pizza Toppings..... but this one was new to me.

Crocodiles Don't Have Lips

It was pleasant to be with the Tippy Top H.S. Students today. Can we say UpperClassMEN anymore? I doubt that is Politically Correct. Not that I care about such things. UpperClassPEOPLE sounds Elitist and  Snobby. Oh well WHO CARES! Anyhow Even though it was pleasant to be with Mature students who can control their bodies and mouths for the most part,.... it was boring. I watched the same Reptile Movie on VHS 3 Times! That's where I learned that Crocodiles don't have lips. This information could be useful at some point in my life but not if a Crocodile is planning to eat me. probably... I'm guessing. Not planning on testing that....! The other classes Identified rocks today. I sat on that front of the classroom teacher stool that lets them know that not only are you taller than them you get better seating. I sat there and watched them identify rocks by guessing. I'm glad I don't have to grade those Igneously Rocky Papers!  I also learned via intercom on the morning announcements that 20% of Japan's publications are Comic Books. Now I had to wonder if they were including Graphic Novels in the comic book category, because I know everyone Loves Donald Duck but I seriously Doubt Japan is reading THAT MUCH Donald.  I am trying to understand why we watched a Reptile Movie on VHS on an ancient VHS player (DVD was available)! It was bad .. I mean they really must have learned something new about Reptiles since that movie came out in the 70's! Seriously!!! Okay I concede it was probably introduced in the 80's but it was bad and boring. It had that Boring 80's Documentary Music. Remember that anyone?  I think they used the same music on EVERY Documentary that would eventually be shown at your local public school. This was some torture... the kids almost hated me for it.... ESPECIALLY when they figured out they had watched it ONCE Before!!! Since I knew I had to watch it 3 times that day I knew that I couldn't drum up much sympathy.  They might have been sitting there plotting my demise..... but I was busy...... Trying To STAY AWAKE!!!